It may be helpful to look at the back and forth slip/slide ing pattern as a demonstration of your own "rhythm" and it's placement within the alignment of the higher rhythm. By observing "yours" in relation to" it's", much may be gleaned concerning the "wheels within wheels".

Could you please expand on what you are both saying Non-e and TIsho, because I have been feeling like this for over a year now..

Its like, sure we're free and all but it seems like there is something 'ideal' that we 'should' be doing in each moment and if we are not doing that then there is general disappointment in the air - which is why I avoid public places alot - can't handle to information overload..and this 'feedback' comes from any Person that is around at the time.. but is it less subtle from people I don't know..

BUT - is it all an illusion? This "fear vs love" input from the outside? Should I go inward and find a consistancy in my energy and completely ignore outside feedback? Or should I allign myself with outside signals - with what I perceive as the universe nudging me in the right direction (like what fugwartz is saying when he said "like the chapter of my life that Ive always dreamed about")?

All I know is that for me to "stop acting like a prude prom date" - nice description again fugwartz - I need several thing inside me to fall into place, which are a) a majority love fueled energy (if it's majority fear - which it is most of the time unfortunately - then I overthink things, feel cornered and threatened, and so start acting aggressive, hostile, and I become overwhelmingly confused, which then leads me to acting like a hermit) , and b) confidence (so I can involve myself in the expierences/situations that I need to get into for my evolution). Without these two things I am useless, inhibited, anxious, shy, withdrawn, and not doing what I am 'supposed' to be doing, and so I perceive the world around me as a negative one, sending me negative feedback about my thoughts and actions..

But on rare days, and moments, this 'negative' world turns 180 degrees in the blink of an eye and becomes truly wonderfull.. I feel in sync, have so much love for everything and everyone, my energy is so full of love, I seem to be in the right place at the right time, experiences come naturally and my interations with people are seamless.. Why isn't it like this all the time???!?!?

So Non-e and Tisho, can you please explain on what you were saying..? Because what Fugwartz decribed is the quest of my life. It seems like outside and inside go together, but I can't align myself with the outside untill something inside me moves.. arrrghh or it could be an illusion.. please help..

PS - I feel responsible for a ton of things one normally would accosiate responsibility with - like other peoples lives.. It's like its up to me to get the gears around me moving right.. ??

Sometimes being who you are gets sidetracked by being who you "want" to be until that which you wanted to be is discovered to be who you are and the two shake hands.

Quote from: non-e-raygun on March 12, 2010, 06:39:37 PM

It may be helpful to look at the back and forth slip/slide ing pattern as a demonstration of your own "rhythm" and it's placement within the alignment of the higher rhythm. By observing "yours" in relation to" it's", much may be gleaned concerning the "wheels within wheels".

look what will happen when you concentrate your vision on ball number[3]

if you look it closely .... the ball in the center(with its 'fins') does not move .. the 'perception' moves
 

I think that your own words written signify and state that what you already know but are not actualizing.

You are distinctly talking about an "ideal" that you envision or sense or associate with and then you speak of how you sense your own distance from it.

That was the point of what I was writing about. It is easy to look at the outside world and see yourself as a reflection of it. Sometimes when you see people on the "outside" not living up to the ideal that you see for yourself you are subconsciously lumping your "self" together with "them".

I have seen that sometimes during the process of "awakening" one will go for a period of time feeling like they get it, like the light is on, and then when the focus shifts, they see the outside reflection again and associate it with themselves.

When focusing on your inner reality and journey, your attention on yourself and acceptance of the on/off ness of what you are experiencing can lead to an acceptance of that which is outside. When the "outside" you and the "inside" you are in harmony than the occurrence of "getting it" becomes more and more as if it is picking up on it's own gravity and spinning the wheel faster. Similar to the principle of "a body in motion stays in motion". The issue with a lot of people is that they are feeling as if they are on some kind of bi-polar rollercoaster because of the ebb and flow of the experience. Through allowing yourself to have "negative" thoughts or periods of "not getting it/not feeling it" and being able to acknowledge them, accept them as a part of your experience and letting them go without attaching them to your "self" as some kind of label defining who you are than the consistency of the experience of getting it becomes longer and longer experienced because you no longer need to enforce on yourself this label of "I associate with that". If you notice that and come to the realization that it was you all along enforcing this upon yourself than it may lead to the light turning on. When you are free of needing to discriminate whether the light is on or off, then it is on and without "expecting" to see it in your outer reality you may start to see that those around you are a reflection of where you are with the newly acknowledged acceptance.